Marilyn vos Savant, the person with the highest IQ ever measured, was once asked what the relationship is between feeling and thinking. Her response was that feeling is what you get for thinking the way you do. In other words, thought rules, not circumstance.
I’ve been thinking about this statement a fair bit this week, and the more I think about it, the more powerful and empowering I find it to be. Very similar to the “glass half full” versus the “glass half empty” analogy. It really is a matter of perception—how we interpret things dictates how we feel about them.
I raise this because it’s so relevant, not only with relationships, but with life in general. I kept asking myself how many times have I let the way I perceive and think about things impact my feelings? In my personal relationship with someone, every time I thought he would do things I don’t usually allow myself to think, I would feel bad. Why? Because my thought processes would automatically go on the overdrive. Then, I would be told that none of the scenarios I imagined happened, or that I was wrong. But I still allowed my thought processes affect my feelings. How many times did I get so upset at the “what could have beens”, and then I would make a conscious effort to change my thinking to appreciate the “what is” and my feelings as a result, would change, but only to backslide again? I’m a recidivist.
I’m making a conscious effort to only focus on what is within my sphere of control and trust the rest to take care of itself because that is the only way I’d feel better and not drive myself crazy.
I hope I don’t forget this when I go nuts.